"I love you" are such sensitive words..
Sometimes, im afraid to say them coz theyre so fragile.

"I love you" are words you take seriously..
So be careful who you say these words to.
Ive decided now, not to hold your hands when we're with your friends. I know you want your space, and ive realised that you're alot more initiative and intimate with me when we're alone together than with people around us. You tell me, dont get mad juz cause you dont wanna hold my hand. I know. Sometimes, you just dont like holding my hands..

Im really desperate now. I'm nothing. I've got no mobile phone, no money, no qualifications, no talents, no anything.. I've got nothing to fall back on and im just like a leech being dependent when im supposed to be independent. I need another job. I need another life. I feel useless, like a loser waiting for money to come in at the end of the month, money i can hardly use to support myself. You've got your own life, your own friends, a full time job, but unfortunately, you've also got a girlfriend who cant take care of herself.

Sometimes i cant take it anymore. It feels like we are just gonna break into two any moment. Yeah.. Im too addicted to you thats why.. I dont seem to let you breathe do i? Maybe we need some time away from each other.. Maybe you need to spend alot more time with your guitar girlfriend since you've been complaining so much. Sometimes i feel that you dont care.. But i dont bother.. I just go with the flow.. keep myself busy until i forget and feel myself again.. But then again, it's never settled..

It's never settled..
Ok.. I lost my phone - AGAIN.. Why cant i be so much mor careful now after losing more than 6 phones?! Was really pissed yersterday with myself, and at that person who took it. First of all, i have already lost my phone millions of times and i never seem to learn my lesson. Secondly, dont that thief know how troublesome it is to lose a phone?!! I was this close, THIS CLOSE to getting my phone back but she didnt wanna give the phone pack to me. Honey and i actually got on a taxi to chase the bus we were taking but when we got onto the bus, hoping to retrieve the phone back, that girl who took it already alighted and despite calling my phone, she didnt answer it and instead, swtiched the thing off.. Fucking hell.. Why are ppl like that?! When theyve got the chance to return something, they dont want to do it.. Why do ppl have to be so selfish?

I miss my phone.. :(

Sorry honey for being so immature yesterday.. I really liked that phone and thinking of my situation now, i was pissed.. How am i gonna get a new phone with no money, no life, and no brains?! Grrr.. So peeps, pls give me your contacts again.. Thanks.. :(

Juz an advert - NEVER eat non fat yogurt.. It's sucky.. The fat gives it an extra delicious taste so.. yea.. :D
Current song playing: Runaway - Avril Lavigne

Both my arms are friggin itchy. Dont know why but the itching cant stop! Grrr.. Gonna see the doctor tml to get better cream.. Hopefully it works! :D

The four turtles honey and i bought together for valentine's day are growing up so fast. They are so so sooo adorable.. :D Somehow they respond better to me than to honey - obviously, since they live on top of my study table in my room. Everytime they see me coming towards them with their turtle food, they'd move their arms about frantically, pushing each other away and lift their heads up high, like as if it were some kinda competition. How cute.. Lawls..

A friend bought the new Avril album for honey today.. I think the album is really a flop, apart for a few songs. Honey and i were shaking our heads at the beginning of various tracks on the bus on the way home from work. Some songs are nice like, "Runaway" and "Contagious", but most of the songs were major disappointments.. I dont know if it's just me but Avril's pitch sounds realli high now compared to before which makes it sound really "chipmunk-ey".. There were alot of Sum41 and Blink182 influences in this album coza Steve, Derryk and Travis Barker, all of whom sessioned for her. WoOo Travis Barker you rock man! :D For Avril fans who loved the previous album, dont buy this one..

I'm so glad im not working tml. Dont get me wrong, i love making coffee and believe me, its a gift. I need to get to the doctor's tml in the morning, then return vcds honey and i borrowed for marathon night, then head to westmall to get my shampoo and pimple cream. That's not all babes.. Meeting the whole Doll Trash gang in the early evening to chill before heading to beat merchants for a 2 hr jamming session. We had a band meeting last sunday and alot of discussions were discussed (thats wat meetings are for right?) and settled. We decided never to play for "Heart of darkness" on wednesdays at the Gashaus ever again and we also decided to let our keyboardist go. Seriously, if you tell me to let her stay because she is our friend, then i think it'll be the wrong choice to make. For me, attitude plays a big part in being in a band. When she doesnt take the initiative to write down her chords to a song, comes late 100% of the time, dont bother to even set up quickly during jamming, and doesnt even have the correct skills to play keyboard, why should we keep her? Jammings and chilling out as a band after jammings are two different things. We can have fun outside, laugh and slap each other silly but in the studio, we're working out something that determines how far we can go in terms of our music. We had this level of expectation from her but we didnt get it. Keeping her in the band because she is our friend is a stupid reason, really.

Ok.. I think it's time for bed.. Honey's already snoring away with my favourite pillow in his arms.. Eeek! *Snorree*
I havent blogged for a long long time and i hate to say this but, blogger's partly to blame for this. I realised that blogger's been very inefficient ever since google took over it and the new template settings are so much harder to change. No offence blogspot, but i think you ought to be more user friendly if you want a huge fan base right?

Anyways, alot have been going on ever since i "temperarily" stopped blogging. I must say i've been really lucky in my love life coz, well im still human, and i know ive done lotsa shit that honey dosent deserve and yet, he still loves me all the more after. Thank you for always being so thoughtful and selfless. You are amazing and so beautiful. What would i do without you?

I told honey yesterday that i always needed to be with you coz i dont want to go astray again. Im afraid that once im not with you for a day, my mind will wonder endlessly to some unknown universe in my past. Honestly, what happened was real and i did feel that something for him. It was childish because he was young and well, "cool" and he liked me, which is rare. I guess i was attracted to these incentives.. It was rare too that he felt the same way abt me thats why it was so hard to let go. But honey, i realised that you loved (and still do) me differently. Dont really know how to explain it but it's unconditional and so selfless even after more than a year since we got together. It's a blessing actually. :D

Im having my school holidays now so no school for 3 months, which also means no jamming and singing. (Apart from DollTrash) But id be singing for this gig on the 29th, organised by Janet and her boyfriend. Let me tell you that these kids im jamming with are amazing. I mean, they dont play professionally but theyve got it in them at such a young age. The potential level in them is blasting and theyre only 13 to 15 years old. Seriously, theyre gonna be great musicians when they grow up. :D Honey doesnt really like it that i talk about them too much. Haha. He thinks im a pedophile. Madness! Lol..

Ok well.. The weather's crazy now.. But im hoping to tan next wednesday coz i need it! :D *Prays*

"I love you" are such sensitive words..
Sometimes, im afraid to say them coz theyre so fragile.

"I love you" are words you take seriously..
So be careful who you say these words to.